Parenting is not an innate ability. But having confidence in yourself and your parenting skills is vital to surviving the roller coaster ride of early and middle childhood. Charlie Crane shares his 10 secrets to self-confidence.
1. You are the only ones who know your child
You carried this child, you brought him into this world. You have been taking care of him since before he was born (9 months of pregnancy without touching a glass of wine, that counts! ). You scrutinize him, you anticipate his reactions, you know or will learn to know his cries. In short, if there were world championships dedicated to your Junior, you would be the gold medalist and nobody else.
2. It’s ok to make mistakes
It’s a bit of a mouthful, but so true. Mistakes, even parental ones, give us clues as to the right path to take. Repeat after us “Cool, I made a mistake, I learned something”. And long live letting go.
3. To each his own method
Diapers are changed in different ways. And it’s the same for everything. Your method is no worse than another parent’s or your partner’s, it’s just different. Stop comparing yourself and be yourself.
4. Look at how far you have come
A quick flashback to when you came home from the maternity ward with your child in your arms. All of a sudden, panic set in. You cried out, “What have we done? You have come a long way since then! Be proud of the steps you have already taken. You have succeeded, you have found solutions and it will continue.
5. You are already doing your best
Between mental and physical fatigue, work and life itself, you are running around. As a result, you feel like you’re doing everything by halves and are never in the right place. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Look at yourself as you would a friend, without judgment, but with kindness and empathy.
6. Love and milk
Your child doesn’t need perfection. Can you imagine the pressure when he grows up? How can he live up to his great parents? In the end, you’re doing him a favor. The truth is, children need love and security.
7. Call for help
To have confidence in yourself is also to have confidence in others. So when you can’t take it anymore, call for help. Your family, your spouse, your friends, a babysitter… You are not Shiva.
8. Your child, your choices
Sometimes, through the eyes of others (family or close friends), you can feel disapproval. Little secret: the only person you have to satisfy in your choices is yourself. Moreover, read again our point number 1, only you know your child and his/her needs perfectly. Not your parents, not your parents-in-law, not your friends.
9. Take care of yourself
Easier said than done, we agree. Nevertheless, taking time for yourself (playing sports, seeing friends, going for a walk, drawing, relaxing…) will help you to step back and be in a good mood to better face the doubt.
10. Lower your expectations
The housework is not done? Is Junior wearing a stained shirt? You will survive and so will he. Review your priorities. A walk in the park will work better than vacuuming. And don’t rely on everything you see on Instagram.
Want more parenting advice? Check out our article on the 10 things kids teach their parents!
The Charlie Crane Team