Help, baby is crying! What should I do?

Now there's a sometimes puzzling sound… Baby's crying! Especially for new parents, those little cries can be a major source of anxiety and questions. Our team has done the research to help you understand and decode the different cries of your newborn, give you solutions to calm your little one, and know what to do in case of intense crying.

Au secours, bébé pleure ! Que faire ?

Crying, baby's way of communicating

Let's start with the basics. Your baby cannot speak yet. Even if you can't wait to hear their voice, their adorable little coos and gurgles, you'll have to make do with little cries and, above all, lots of crying in the first few weeks! And yes, crying is your little one's main means of communication to get their messages across…

When baby cries, they are expressing different needs: 

  • Hunger 
  • Tiredness 
  • Pain (tummy ache, colic, trapped wind…)
  • Discomfort: too hot or too cold 
  • Needs your arms and wants to be comforted 
  • Needs a diaper change 
  • Emotional release…

This list is not exhaustive and can be expanded with the help of your pediatrician or family doctor.

How to soothe your baby

Rest assured, as parents, you will soon learn to recognize your child's different cries — we promise. Hunger cries will not sound like discomfort cries, and so on. In the meantime, since there is no magic wand to soothe your newborn, discover our tips to try to comfort your little one!

©Lucie Cipolla

Baby cries before, during, or after a feed: 

  • Before their usual feeding time, baby may simply already be hungry.
  • During and after a feed, they may need to burp, even if breastfed. 
  • Colic, tummy ache…
  • Baby is not hungry, but needs to nurse or suck on something to self-soothe.

Baby is crying in their crib

  • They are struggling to fall asleep 
  • On the contrary (it would be too easy otherwise!), they are tired of sleeping 
  • The temperature is wrong — they are too hot or too cold.

Baby is crying in their bouncer or on their play mat

  • They are tired or overstimulated
  • Baby is asking for you
  • Baby is bored and wants to play (try an activity arch!)

Baby is crying in your arms

  • Baby needs to sleep
  • Baby is bored
  • They need a diaper change…

There are many reasons why baby needs you! The list above is not exhaustive…

Comforting your baby

As you have gathered, there are several ways to comfort your baby or respond to their needs. 

Forget Aunt Suzanne's advice telling you to let them cry because "it'll strengthen their lungs" or "give them bad habits." To begin with, babies don't throw tantrums (their brain is too immature to scheme anything!). Furthermore, neuroscience has recently taught us that the stress caused by crying is harmful for very young children. If you'd like to learn more, listen to this episode of the La Matrescence Podcast. 

Of course, don't fall into the opposite extreme by feeling guilty if, despite all your attempts, your child is still crying… You are doing your best and that is perfectly fine.

We're going to give you a few more tips that might help calm your newborn's crying. Try out whichever of these options your baby enjoys: 

  • Swaddling.
  • Baby-wearing.
  • A stroller ride.
  • Massaging baby. 
  • In case of tummy aches, massage their belly in a clockwise direction; you can also fold their legs toward their tummy, or lay them on your forearm to relieve their pain. 
  • Rocking them.
  • Singing them a song.
  • Doing skin-to-skin with newborns.
  • Giving them a bath.
  • Breastfeeding them.
  • Place baby under a range hood (yes, it works on some babies!) or try white noise.

When baby is inconsolable and you are losing patience…

When your child's crying goes on and on (it's only the beginning, okay, okay), you can reach the end of your rope. Feeling fed up, anger, deep sadness… Add a good dose of exhaustion and you'll end up with patience that ran out long ago, which can lead to shaken baby syndrome. Of course, you should never shake your child. 

When you feel you've reached your limit, ask your partner, a friend, or your family for help. Are you alone? Put your child down in their crib, safely, then leave the room and breathe to calm yourself down. Take all the time you need. It is better to let your baby cry than to risk shaking them!

Specific cries

If you have tried everything (changing them, feeding them, rocking them, stimulating them, calming them…) and they are still crying, then your baby may have colic, be going through a growth spurt, or experiencing the well-known end-of-day fussing… The latter tends to happen around 5–6 PM and baby can be inconsolable for a few hours. This moment is exhausting for parents who feel helpless. 

If baby is very warm, they may also be unwell. See your doctor without delay.

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