Meeting with Maëlys Le Levreur, founder of My Little Coaching

From Montessori to daycare

When we hear the word "coach," we sometimes get scared. "I can understand that, because this term didn't exist 12 years ago when I chose it. Today, it's used left, right and center. I prefer the term 'support guide'". Maëlys tells us about her journey between her specialist studies and her discovery of Montessori pedagogy: "At the beginning, Montessori schools were establishments in the poor outskirts of Italy."

The pedagogy initiated by Maria Montessori involves observing the child and offering them activities based on their development and desires, because every child is different. Workshops are set up to help them become independent, to do things on their own.

Before founding My Little Coaching, Maëlys was the director of a daycare center in Paris. Three weeks before the infamous Covid, which no one could have predicted, she decided to focus full time on her support project. "I created it for parents who couldn't get a place in a daycare center."

The miracle recipe doesn't exist

Today, Maëlys works with companies and individuals with a strong message: there is no miracle recipe, because every child is unique. "I'm not here to judge — I won't tell parents whether their methods are good or bad." Agreed, but what do you do when you're overwhelmed and need help?

According to Maëlys, you need to observe and listen to your child and learn as you go, while letting go of preconceived ideas. "I bought every parenting book imaginable. What bothered me was this injunction to perfect parenthood that leaves parents feeling lost. That famous parental doubt that creeps into your life can be quite insidious, especially when you see all those perfect parents on Instagram. It's normal to have doubts, but your little one needs a parent to guide them. I think parents should trust themselves. They are already the experts on their own child — not the books." The educator continues her reasoning: "In the past, when you wanted to plant a fruit tree, you asked your grandfather. Now you ask your grandfather, your friends, YouTube, Instagram and you end up doubting yourself."

Far from being anti-social media or against parenting books, she instead champions knowing your own child, in order to adapt to their specific needs… Without forgetting yourself, the parent. "In the end, we talk a lot about the child and little about the parent. With Covid arriving, many adults feel they need to be even more present with their children. Family was almost all that remained during that period. Yet forcing yourself to play when you don't feel like it won't be a quality moment — for either of you."

Trust and learning

Faced with these reassuring words, Maëlys explains that she designed her book as a practical guide to support future and new parents in their role. The woman we suspect of whispering in families' ears also confides that she understands children better than adults. In her book, she explains things in a concrete way and draws parallels: "If someone ordered you to go to your room, how would you react?" She also breaks down what goes on inside our children's heads. "When we tell them not to do something, they understand the opposite" and for each problematic situation, she offers keys to try, along with recommendations for useful books or websites.

Help, Maëlys!

Post-partum, sleep, tantrums… Maëlys came back to walk us through the questions she gets asked most often.

How do you ease your post-partum experience?

After making room for her baby in her body, she needs to make room for them in her life, and in the family's life. It's perfectly natural for this to take time! Above all, it's important to accept without guilt that there is a period of trial and error when getting to know your child. This time varies from person to person and can range from a few weeks… to a few years.

When will my baby sleep through the night?

"The question doesn't really arise before the child is 8 months old. You need to know a few concepts like the circadian cycle (the difference between day and night). It kicks in around 4 months, so you have to be patient! Sleeping through the night is a myth and… an exception. However, it is important to establish rituals for children, like bedtime stories. We adults have our rituals too! Children and babies often need a decompression zone."

How do you handle tantrums?

"When a child is angry, they are in an emotion that overwhelms them, and if you send them to their room, they won't be able to move on… and sometimes they will. Some children need to be alone, or need a hug, and that's where you have to find the solution that works for them. When a child is at the peak of their emotion, they cannot hear us. You have to test and find what works for your child."

How do you prepare for the arrival of a second child?

"When we adults know we're expecting a new child, we're flooded with all kinds of emotions. It's the same for our children. And then once the baby is here, the older child is expected to do things that weren't asked of them before… They no longer have their parents all to themselves when before, they had all the arms for themselves. And as a parent, you feel the need to apologize and make up for it with gifts, but it's our adult decision to own. You have to explain what a family is from the very start. At first, there is a bubble of love formed by the two parents. Then they decide to expand it with a first child. And then the parents love each other so deeply that they want to create an even bigger bubble. You need to explain to the first child why you love them. We love our children because they are different, and for life. This is important so as not to create competition."

Head over to Instagram to watch our LIVE with Maëlys on the fascinating subject of post-partum!