Mother's Day: 9 Keys to a Gentle and Serene Motherhood

Finding balance

Welcome to the wonderful world of parenthood! A universe full of joy, little daily moments of tenderness — yet inseparable from its share of responsibilities of all kinds. In this new chapter of life, where your brain is constantly overstimulated on top of being affected by a more or less lengthy pregnancy (the mommy brain effect), there is a new balance to find. As a couple you become three, or the family grows by welcoming a new child. First of all, take a breath — every balance takes time to find, and that's absolutely normal. If you're in a couple, the role of the co-parent is also crucial to family harmony, because if each person contributes their share (without keeping score to avoid tension), that's already a battle won!

Building your support network

Knowing how to build a support network when you become a parent is a real art. A true discipline in its own right. Caught up in the whirlwind of tasks, medical appointments, and caregiving, (re)finding a social life is the last priority on your list. And yet "social support" is crucial! Because that's exactly what it is: social support. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and it's no legend. Also important: keeping in touch with family and friends to take your mind off things. And if that's too difficult, there are tons of mom communities to chat with, like the We Moms network (and its forum where you can ask any question freely!).

Being flexible

Ahh, parenthood — what a joy when you're naturally "zen," but what a challenge for the control enthusiasts (and we know there are plenty of us!). Yes, let's say it: parenthood is a long road paved with the unexpected, and to avoid frustration, you'll need to embrace flexibility. In practice, flexibility means adapting to changes of plan, adjusting routines, revisiting certain expectations — all with calm and self-control. Nobody says it comes naturally, nobody says it's easy, but it's worth a try.

Refocus

One of the pieces of advice most likely passed down from generation to generation of mothers is indeed to be present in the moment. We often hear "make the most of it," and sometimes, in the thick of it, we may wonder what's enjoyable about it when we feel like we're doing everything by halves because time is so short. Over time, we can be tempted to want these years to fly by, for our children to grow up so that things get easier and they become less dependent. But isn't the key to rejoice in the little things? Your children will never be this small again — these moments are unique!

Finally, by refocusing on yourself, ask what priorities you want to have over the coming months. If your career matters most to you, that's perfectly fine too! The time you spend with your child or children will only be more meaningful as long as it's a conscious choice that does you good. Because children's happiness flows from their parents' happiness.

Listen, read, share…

We've said it before — we are deeply convinced that sharing knowledge is a key to experiencing motherhood well. Fortunately, we live in a connected world that allows us to nourish ourselves in a thousand and one ways with quality content on this subject… In recent years, taboos have been broken, people have opened up, and there is truly something for everyone. Podcasts, books, graphic novels, all kinds of communities, blog articles, TV shows… You can find answers to your questions, forge strong connections with people online. Bliss, La Matrescence, Les Louves and all those wonder women are true gifts!

Trusting yourself (as a parent)

Did you know? The perfect mother doesn't exist. Just like the perfect couple, the perfect husband, the perfect child… We need to let go of those wooden ideals that have been planted in our heads. Once that's done, we recommend practicing positive self-affirmation. This means no longer putting yourself down, banishing negative thoughts, and reminding yourself that you are the best parent your child could ever have. Yes, nothing less! Of course, doubt is an integral part of parenthood and that's completely nor-mal. To build your confidence, master your subject as much as possible: study the key stages of child development to recognize their emotions, their needs, and learn to approach them with gentleness.

Prioritize / Make choices / Delegate

When you become a mother, you face multiple (societal) pressures: you should be impeccable, keep the house tidy, host family and friends, be a woman, a mother, and everywhere at once — and all with a smile, ladies! But the key is precisely to detach yourself from these expectations and simply accept that you cannot do everything. The opposite is actually counterproductive! So we learn, on the one hand, to prioritize our choices so as not to feel cornered. Then we make decisions based on those priorities, and finally we delegate: school pick-ups, housework, and so on. It's really important to keep breathing spaces to stay serene and spend quality time at home as a couple, with your children, as well as with your loved ones and colleagues.

Communicate

And yes, there's no escaping it — communication is obviously one of the most important keys: the sacred art of Communication! You need to be able to communicate not only with your partner but also with your baby, who is not yet able to speak for the first few months… For that, there is non-verbal communication (being attentive to signals) and active listening (being fully present and attentive). Finally, we're always told to communicate during the tough times to get through the rough patches, but we far too often neglect communication during the good times as well!

Not forgetting yourself / Taking care of yourself

We wrote about this topic last year, and it's our final key to making the most of motherhood. Think of yourself! Take time for yourself. Without thinking about your children or your partner. Make yourself a priority. Get a massage, go to the gym (if you feel like it), treat yourself to a rebozo session, make an appointment with a therapist to speak freely, choose healthy, seasonal ingredients to nourish yourself in the most literal sense… You are the only one who knows how to take care of yourself, so don't neglect yourself. On the contrary, listen to yourself, cherish yourself. You have every right to do so — and it's even a duty, to remain the same version of yourself and therefore the best possible mother for your child.