New mother: taking care of yourself
The encounter that changes everything
To prepare for the arrival of a child, there are those who browse parenting books, others who know every episode of Les Maternelles by heart, those who retreat into their bubble, those who document themselves in small doses. Whatever happens, motherhood arrives without warning. All at once, or almost, you become a parent. When you meet your baby for the first time. And there it is — life as you knew it is gone. In its place, a great unknown, joyful and unforeseeable, arrives. For better and for worse.
In this cycle of matrescence, many contradictory feelings also join the party: joy, wonder, fulfillment, anxiety, guilt, stress… Far from the idealized paradise, the journey to finding one's path as a mother is sometimes fraught with obstacles known as baby blues or postpartum depression.
Postpartum and baby blues: what is the difference?
It is important to distinguish between the baby blues, which is a normal and temporary emotional reaction following childbirth, and postpartum depression, which is a more serious medical condition.
While the baby blues are generally characterized by feelings of sadness, anxiety, and irritability that typically resolve on their own after a few weeks following birth, postpartum depression persists longer and may require professional treatment.
If symptoms persist for more than two weeks or interfere with the ability to function day to day, it is important to consult your midwife or doctor.
How to identify postpartum depression?
Postpartum depression is a medical condition that can affect new mothers shortly after giving birth. It can occur in the first weeks following birth, but it can also manifest up to one year after the baby is born.
Symptoms can vary in severity, ranging from mild and temporary sadness to more intense emotional distress. It can lead to decreased self-esteem, difficulties bonding with the baby, sleep and appetite disturbances, as well as negative thoughts or suicidal ideation in the most severe cases.
These effects can also have an impact on the relationship with the partner and other family members.
What are the solutions for overcoming postpartum depression?
Consult a healthcare professional
Postpartum depression is a condition that does not heal on its own. Speak up, free your conscience and don't feel guilty. Don't be afraid to admit your distress and your need for help. Make an appointment with: your midwife, your general practitioner, a psychologist, a PMI center, or at the hospital during a perinatal child psychiatry consultation.
Listening to your inner voice
The one that whispers to you that something is wrong. It is hard to hear it, between the sleepless nights and the constant responsibilities that come with motherhood. But it is crucial to pay attention to these internal signals. Sometimes, simply acknowledging that you need support can be the first step toward healing.
Building a support network
Being alone with a newborn can be exhausting and isolating, and the lack of social contact can worsen feelings of depression. They say it takes a village to raise a child. A kind and caring army is needed to look after mothers. Talk to your partner, to other mothers, to your friends, your family. Have doubts, tolerate your mistakes — which aren't really mistakes at all.
Step away from Instagram…
…or more precisely, the accounts that bring you down. Polished photos, immaculate home, perfectly groomed mother, sleeping baby. Do you really believe that? Don't trust appearances. Instagram is also known as the dream life, or more bluntly, "the poisoned life that makes you feel guilty." Instead, turn to useful accounts such as that of Anna Roy, the beautiful stories of Anaïs Doal, the reflections of Marie Robert, or even the adventures of Renée Greu.
Hello, letting go
Finding your place as a mother can feel like a treasure hunt. As Lisa Gachet sums it up, "You have to learn to let go, accept that things will be imperfect, that today's victories may be tomorrow's failures and that it doesn't matter." You are not a many-armed goddess capable of doing everything at once. Your brain is in full bloom (scientifically proven), so take the time to watch it flourish.
The Charlie Crane team
