Mother's Day: 9 keys to sweet, serene motherhood

Finding balance

Welcome to the wonderful world of parenthood! It's a world of joy and daily moments of tenderness, but also a world of responsibilities. In this new stage of life, where your brain is over-solicited and impacted by a pregnancy of varying lengths (the mommy brain effect), there's this new balance to find. You've gone from being a couple to a family of three, and your family is growing with the arrival of a new child. First of all, take a breath, because any balance takes time to find, and that's absolutely normal. If you're a couple, the co-parent's place is also crucial to the family's equilibrium: if everyone contributes their share (without counting the points to avoid tension), you've already won a round!

Knowing how to surround yourself

Knowing how to surround yourself with people when you become a parent is quite an art. A discipline in its own right. Caught up in the whirlwind of tasks, medical appointments and care, (re)finding a social life is the last priority on your list. And yet “social support” is crucial! Because that's what it's all about: social support. They say it takes a village to raise a child, and that's no myth. It's also important to keep in touch with family and friends to take your mind off things. And if that's too hard, there are a ton of moms' communities to talk to, like the We Moms network (and its forum to ask all your questions freely!)

Being flexible

Ahhh, parenthood, what a joy when you're naturally “zen”, but what a challenge for the control freaks (God knows there are lots of us!). Yes, let's face it, parenthood is a long road paved with unforeseen events, so if you don't want to get frustrated, you're going to have to become flexible. In concrete terms, flexibility means adapting to changes in plans, adjusting routines and revising expectations, all with calmness and self-control. No one says it's innate, no one says it's easy, but it's worth a try.

Refocusing

One of the pieces of advice that is probably passed down from generation to generation of mothers is to be in the moment. We often hear the word “enjoy”, and sometimes, in the heat of the moment, we wonder what's so pleasant about it when we feel as if we're doing everything half-heartedly because we're so short of time. After a while, we can tend to want all these years to go by quickly, and for our children to grow up so that it's less difficult and they're less dependent. But isn't the key to enjoying the little things? Your children will never be so small again - these moments are unique!

Finally, as you refocus on yourself, ask yourself what priority you want to have in the coming months. If it's your career that's important to you, that's okay too! The time you spend with your children will be all the more rewarding as long as it's a choice you've taken on board, and one that's good for you. Because children's happiness depends on their parents' happiness.

Listen, read, share...

As we've already said, we're firmly convinced that transmission is the key to living well with motherhood. Fortunately, we live in a connected world, which means we can feed ourselves in a thousand and one ways with quality content on this subject... In recent years, taboos have been lifted, tongues have been loosened, in short, there's plenty to find what you're looking for. Podcasts, readings, graphic novels, diverse communities, blog articles, TV shows... You can find answers to your questions and forge strong links with other Internet users. Bliss, La Matrescence, Les Louves and all these wonder women are gifts!

Trusting yourself (as a parent)

Did you know? The perfect mother doesn't exist. Just like the perfect couple, the perfect husband, the perfect child... You have to get rid of the wooden targets you've put in your head. Once you've done that, we advise you to practice positive self-affirmation. This consists in no longer devaluing yourself, chasing away negative thoughts and repeating to yourself that you are the best parent your child could have ever had. Yes, that's it! Of course, self-doubt is part and parcel of parenthood, and it's nor-bad. To build your self-confidence, master your subject as much as you can: study the key stages in a child's development to recognize his emotions and needs, and to handle them more gently.

Prioritize / Make choices / Delegate

When you become a mother, you're faced with a number of (societal) injunctions: you have to be impeccable, keep the house tidy, entertain family and friends, be a wife, a mother and a bit of everything all at once - and all with a smile, ladies! But the key is to detach yourself from these precepts and simply accept that you can't do it all. In fact, the opposite is counter-productive! So we learn to prioritize our choices so as not to feel pressured. Then you make choices based on these priorities, and finally you delegate: school outings, housework or whatever. You really need to keep some breathing space to stay calm and spend quality time at home as a couple, with your children and with your loved ones and colleagues.

Communicate

And yes, there's no escaping it, it's obviously a very important key to the sacrosanct: Communication! Not only do you have to be able to communicate with your partner, but also with your baby, who won't be able to speak for a few months... For this, there's non-verbal communication (paying attention to signals) and active listening (being fully present and attentive). Last but not least, you're urged to communicate in the bad times, so you can get out of the bad, but we all too often neglect communication in the good times too!

Don't forget yourself / Take care of yourself

We wrote about this topic last year, and it's our final key to making the most of motherhood. Think of yourself! Take time for yourself. Without thinking about your children or your partner. Make yourself a priority. Get a massage, go to the gym (if you feel like it), treat yourself to a rebozo treatment, make an appointment with a therapist to talk freely, choose healthy, seasonal ingredients to nourish yourself in the literal sense of the word... Only you know how to take care of yourself, so don't neglect yourself. On the contrary, listen to yourself and pamper yourself. It's your right and even your duty to be the same version of yourself, and therefore the best possible mother for your child.